Can't Concentrate!

     I can't concentrate on my campaign stuff or my writing . My sister just came home and asked if we were taking my boxes to the UPS store tomorrow and I said no, I want to see what the nurse says on Monday.

    Despite me saying that I was afraid, and worried and anxious, my sister is put out by my potential change of plans. I did not make hard plans with her for moving boxes tomorrow. She should not be terribly put out having her day suddenly freed up. I suspect she's worried I will not move out. Oh I will move out. Just not sure it is going to be Portland right now. It's all about health insurance. If I move, I lose my stellar health insurance.

     If I need expensive meds or anything, I will be stuck here.
Trying not to worry too much. I honestly want to bomb the living room though. I feel like insisting my sister move the TV to her other fucking living room. She has two fucking living rooms. Me, none.

    One thing is clear. I need an outlet. This living situation is no longer tenable. I'm about to walk out this door and start screaming if I don't find some relief soon. Fine. I mean that's fine. If they hauled me off to the psych ward it would be a welcome respite from the actual crazy person in the apartment. I hate this country where people like my sister, the actual klepto-narcissist-liar-fake-centrist-jealous-crazy chud who should go to jail for abuse. Fucking bitch. I swear to god I hate people like that. She has hit me so many times but if I get angry she says she will call the cops. It's inequality and I HATE THAT. With every fiber in my being. I hate people who have to step on others who are already down in order to feel good about themselves.