I have all the time in the world to finally try and complete Nano Wrimo -- if I can just get some discipline going here. I mean, I'm placing B12 lozenges under my tongue like 3x a day now. I feel better. I do. I feel nearly coalesced into something solid and human.
The heat is making it pretty difficult to assess my physical situation as it's just too hot to do anything strenuous. Walking one mile a day is about it until the weather breaks. It's just too much. The parking lot is blacktop too, makes it so much hotter in the immediate area outside the apartment. I'd be out in the parking lot right now making some stencils or something but good lord it has to wait. I have looked into fishing, magnet fishing etc along the creek. The creek is a mile away, a nice jaunt. Soon as the weather permits I'll be magnet fishing. To fish for live fish I have to have a license! OR an Alabama ID. I do not want to get an Alabama ID. I prefer my Arizona ID which doesn't expire until 2027. Ha! Imagine. I have 7 years before I have to fucking worry about going to the DMV again. Why would I trade that for a state ID ? NOT GOING TO.
the next door neighbor... I lost all hope already. Thought it might be fun to have an older, supposedly wiser lesbian living next to me but she's a fucking carbon copy of all the others. Sure I'll give her a chance to redeem herself but it's going to be hard after this morning. I was cleaning out the back shed. There's all kinds of her wood in there from her remodel and she's pretty concerned over it. I was lifting a piece up to examine the nails sticking out of it and she came right up to me and put her damn hands on it and started twisting it, while I had my hands on it. A nail pushed into my bare foot. I asked her to stop and she could not comprehend what I was saying. "PLease stop twisting the board! there's a nail in my foot!" did NOT register. she kept at it. I screwed my face up and took the pain and was glad when she stepped away from me. I don't like being that close to strangers and certainly not people who smoke Pall Malls and own Maltese named Norma Jean (jesus christ can we be any more cliche than naming our stupid pure breed dog after Marilyn Monroe)? I don't like her, she looks like and even sounds like my ex Diane. With the perfect car, the perfect clothes, and the nasty messy brain. No thank you. And stop smoking outside my bedroom window, that's going to stop. Toot fucking sweet. I ain't your typical nice dyke. I'm a trans man, and I stand up for myself and I don't like inhaling your ciggie smoke you coughing shithead. haha! Made a neighbor into an enemy and she doesn't even know it.
I know my proclivity to vilify people before I get to know them. I'm not going to do that this time. I'm going to forgive her and have patience with her. She sent her dog over to me to get to know me and she sent her nephew over too. I'm going to give him the Iron Man toy I found in the dumpster at my sister's. It is a good solid toy with no removable parts and it's really well built. I think he can have a lot of fun with it in the yard. I can put it on the little play lawnmower. I have to ask her first if Iron Man is ok to give though. What if they don't subscribe to super hero movies. I don't know. I really want to get out and about but this heat! Oh god it's brutal. I was loving this summer until this week. It's SEPTEMBER for fucks sake. Anyhow this area is WILD just a few yards past any cleared plot of land. There are tangled wild areas of brush... one could ostensibly make a nice fort in the woods and doubt it would be discovered until they developed it. Might be time for me to make a new fort like when I was kid and have my own place to meditate away from the entire civilized world. Take my knife, take a hatchet. Build a fort.
heh. At 57, learning how to be a human for the first time. Welcome to my childhood, which was stolen from me at approximately 7 when Ev walked into my bedroom shaking his dick at my face and forcing me to do things. Time to stand up to men, stand up to evil. All across the board.
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